Anonymous asked: Have you ever had that annoying feeling that nothing really means anything and you just can't seem to find meaning in doing anything anymore? If so, how did you deal with it? I'll understand if you won't respond this is a really personal (and creepy) question. I just don't know what to do anymore and you seem to be that type of person who is really involved(?) with the world.
Yes. Being something sort of an existentialist, i’ve been there, and it sucks. To cut it short, it’s the saddest and most wasteful period of my life.
Correct me if i’m wrong but you’re prolly young right?
Trust me, it’s just the pressure of being caught in between being a child and an adult, and that “in between phase” is a very scary and highly emotional phase where nihilistic thoughts come creeping in.
Wanting to pursue my band and photography seriously despite my parents’ disapproval, pressured beyond limits to graduate with honors being an only child in a very academic centered family, losing young love which during that time, i thought, was my everything, made me stop to question the “meaning” of continuing such an existence. No, i wasn’t suicidal, but that option of dropping everything, living like a non-relevant, almost lifeless “vegetable” with no regard whatsoever to everything and anything, came about.
Then i realized, i was just 19. Who the fuck am i to think this way when i haven’t even lived out half of the usual human lifespan yet. So i looked up photographs, beautiful photographs, and damn, the world, life, is so, wow, and i just want to experience and capture it as much as i can.
Build a nice career, make art on the side, inspire others, travel to places, find my muse, have a family, die old and happy, SELF ACTUALIZE.
If i achieve all those things, for sure i know i’m gonna be happy ‘cause “meaning” or without meaning” it feels fucking great. So let’s say it really doesn’t have a meaning in the end, well at least you’re happy so it’s either a WIN WIN or WIN LOSE situation if you continue living, and you’ve nothin to lose.
But if you pursue Nihilism, well then, you’re probably gonna be sad, confused, doubting, questioning, maybe even suicidal, or dead, so clearly you got yourself a LOSE LOSE situation in all angles.
Live and continue on with life, even if it’s difficult, try your hardest to find meaning in stuff you do. Whenever nihilistic thoughts come creeping in again, just think of all the young ones with dreams who never made it.
Whenever nihilistic thoughts come creeping in again, just stop for a moment, and realize, you’re living, and for that fact alone, you’re so fucking blessed.
So go on, brighten up Anon, even if i don’t know you, i sure do believe in you. :)